Bird My nickname is Bird because my dad said I had chicken legs in high school. Thanks puberty, thanks dad. After years of evolution, it turned into Bird.

Broken is for the numerous accidents I get myself into.

malty:

I have a friend who is a ho. Scratch that, she’s not my friend. She is just a girl who I know through people who hangs out with us far too much, which is weird because we never call her, she just shows up. Well this chick sleeps with anything that will have her and for those who don’t want her, she gets them wasted, tells them about her lack of gag reflex and BAM they go home with her.

Chick and I just got into a fight recently about why I don’t bring my ‘boys’ around for her to meet. 1. gross 2. fear they will get something from her 3. boys are NOT a pot luck. I do not bring them places to share with others and if I do bring them around, treat them like an amazing pair of shoes: compliment me on them, say you wished you had some like that and move on.