Bird My nickname is Bird because my dad said I had chicken legs in high school. Thanks puberty, thanks dad. After years of evolution, it turned into Bird.

Broken is for the numerous accidents I get myself into.

Me: *Thinking to myself, “why is someone calling me at 11:30 at night? Oh no, did my stalker get my number?!* Hello?

Stranger: Yeah hello, my name is Paul from Pizza Hut.

Me: Hi?

Paul: Yeah um, the address we have here says you live in apt. 101 but I’m not sure what building that is. Could you tell me?

Me: uhh…. I didn’t order a pizza. And I don’t live in an apartment, I live in a house….

Paul: Oh! I am soo sorry! Uhhh…..

Me: …… that’s okay I guess….

End conversation. I should have asked if he wanted to deliver it to me instead.