It’s a tough life.
- someone asks you if you want to do something tonight and you say “Yes!” and then immediately regret it because now you’re not going to be able to stay in and order netflix directly to your tivo while you sit in your empty house
I have lots of nicknames for my kitty. Here’s how it started:
Real Name: Hobbes
First Nickname: Button
#2: Snook
#3: Snicker
#4: Snickerdoodle
And when I’m pissed at him, there are even more…
“Everyone thinks Brad Pitt has it great because he married Angelina Jolie. I think he has it terrible, because when Angelina Jolie is giving you a blow job, what do you tip your head back and think of to help you finish? You have nothing left — just Jesus on a polar bear in the middle of the snow, saying, ‘You greedy motherfucker, I’ve got nothing for you.’”
John Mayer
bahahahaha.
(via sara—)
Ugh, this is horrifying. I remember when I was in high school, thinking John Mayer was soo sensitive and how he was my perfect guy. God, how he has fallen…
yes, this.
I don’t think my future students would be tough enough to handle this kind of teaching style.
Boo and Kitty!
Lyndsey and I watched this a few nights ago. I love this movie oh-so much.
I LOVE Boo…
Today at work we got a new coffee stand, and it came in a HUGE box. Another barista and I realized that one of us could fit inside of it, and that it would be hilarious if we scared the other barista, Sarah. So I climbed inside of it, and put the lid on top and waited.
Liz, the barista in cahoots with me, told Sarah I needed to talk to her about her till. Sarah came in the back room, and looked around for me, and when she was right next to the box, I threw my arms up, flipping over the lid and screamed “ARGHHH!” at her.
She LOST it. She screamed super loud and then we all started cracking up and crying.
It was hilarious. Glad that boxes can still entertain people.
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, sit next to me.”
Dorothy Parker (via love-and-radiation)
(via mykicks)
Baby animals are absolutely tragic. Like, this thing has ideas. It looks like it just farted and is really embarrassed. Ugh, Christ. Come here. Let’s get that sweater off and tickle your tummy.
